Thursday, March 31, 2005
this is what it means to have 13 units in one termthe number 13 is bad luck. oh yes it is. i have 13 units this term. d'ya
think my life has been easier? well think again, because i've experienced
lighter workload back in my thesis days. and we had 21 units
then.
geesh.
ok, so maybe i'm exaggerating... but really, i just
cannot imagine how
i'll be able to survive next week. laine's right. leche
talaga mga minor
subjects.
palakihan na 'to ng eyebags.
Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at3/31/2005 bakas ng kahapon
i wrote this down to remind myself how much WE (our group in relsfor) RULE:
don't you just hate it when other people bask in the rays of the glory that should have been yours? ok, i do admit that they are good, they were prepared and there is transition and cohesion in their project film. well, at least they could have included us in the credits! i mean, that is plagiarism in it's full galore. how can our professor not see that?
ow... for the benefit of those who weren't there... we had a project in our relsfor wherein we have to make a film. lots were cast as to who should perform first. we came in second, and needless to say, we didn't have enough time in our hands to produce something that could be considered a film noir. nor are we experienced in the art of film making, so when we were able to produce "the making of a pornstar" we were so proud of ourselves. it was quite good for beginners, even if i said so myself. true, we made so many impromptu dialogues and our acting was not that convincing, yet we had so many brilliant ideas that we imbued to the film. heck, we should be considered geniuses. but our whole class disagreed (with the exception of our fellow cos students in that class). wala man lang reaksyon. nada. ni hikab para man lang malaman namin na buhay pa sila, wala. bakit 'ka nyo? eh kasi, kapiraso lang utak nila. joke. pero totoo. so there, i am sure we did not receive good marks on that.
then come group (?). opening pa lang, impressive na. you could always tell kung sino ang mga groups na handa e. yung tipong may ticket saka poster saka costume pa. maganda ang introduction. ok ang build up sa mga charachters, pangalan pa lang alam na kung sino kontrabida at bida. magaling sila umarte, seryoso at tila naroroon talaga sila sa sitwasyon na yun. nakakakilig yung "let the love begin" na scene nila kahit paulit-ulit yung mga clips na pinapakita.
tapos... napansin ko na yung dialogue nila e may pagkakapareho sa dialogue namin sa film namin... pinalagpas ko yun. coincidence lang siguro. sumunod ang scene ng sulat, at yung effect na parang makaluma ang panahon. nagtaka na ko, pero ok lang, enjoy pa rin ang panonood ko. tapos, mantakin mo ba naman na nagkaroon sila ng scene na silhouette lang ang kita. yung blanket tapos may ilaw sa likod. at ginamit nila yun sa scene na nanganganak ang pangunahing tauhang babae. teka, parang may mali? naramdaman ko ang pag-init ng aking tenga. hindi na katanggap-tanggap. the fact can no longer be denied. they copied our ideas. at hindi pa yun tapos. talagang dinagdagan pa nila. sa bandang huli, may mga stillshots saka nakasulat yung mga naging katapusan ng bawat tauhan. meron ding enumeration ng 10 injustices. nagtapos din sila sa anak. paano nila maipapaliwanag ang mga bagay na yun? hindi nila pwedeng sabihing pareho takbo ng mga utak namin, sa twins lang pwedeng mangyari yun, at maniwala kayo kapag sinabi ko na wala kaming kakambal dun sa kabilang grupo.
ang hindi ko talaga matanggap, todo ang papuri sa kanila ni sir. he overlooked the fact that WE had made a great contribution to their film.
bastusan na 'to.
pero sabi nga ni rr, maging proud dapat kami kasi ginaya kami. imitation is the greatest kind of flattery, or something like that.
Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at3/31/2005
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
pinakuluang sampaguita, and other funny thingsnakatikim na ba kayo ng pinakuluang sampaguita? kung hindi pa, wag nyo ng subukan. it's nauseating. i tried it this afternoon, because the damned canteen ran out of c2 green tea. it was by far the most stupid decision i ever made in my life. 30 pesos for a mouthful of pure, unadulterated horror. i wanted to gag myself for drinking the stuff.
damn it. man, it was so awful, i'd rather drink my own piss.
well, at least it's over now. i can breathe fresh air again. whew.
prior to that, nagkasalubong kami ni radium sa corridor. at... hindi ko sya tiningnan. then raisa pushed me towards him, but luckily, i'm a fast thinker and was able to dodge. walang skin contact. haha. i give up on him na. di nya ko pinansin e. kungsabagay, di ko rin naman sya pinapansin dati kahit nakatingin na sya sa kin. ha! quits na kami. feeling rakistang gwapo. che. mauntog ka sana at magising sa katotohanan na bagay tayo. ngek! ah basta, bahala sya sa buhay nya. lakas nya mag-feeling. kakagigil talaga. abangan ko kaya yun sa labas. maghalo na ang balat sa tinalupan. lintik lang ang walang ganti.
natatawang naiinis ako sa sarili ko. shet.
hayun... on to the next event.
rr and i were walking, er, following her major bulk. well, actually, it cannot be considered "following" since we were going that way too. nauna lang sya. tapos sa labas ng skul, sumakay na sa major bulk sa sasakyan nya. balak ko sanang itulak si rr sa tapat ng sasakyan kasabay ng pag-abante nito habang binabanggit ang mga katagang, "this is for your own good, kid." na-guilty lang ako kaya di ko ginawa. pero isipin nyo kung ginawa ko yun... mapipilitan si major bulk na dalhin at bantayan sa hospital si rr. tapos tatawagan nya yung parents ni rr, kaya mami-meet nila ito. tapos sasabihin ng parents, "kailangan mong panagutan ang nangyari sa anak namin." sapul! kasalan na. ngek. labo.
*** i want this in tiny fonts because it's mean. mas maganda ako ng hindi hamak sa babaeng pinagseselosan ko. walang stir. bwahahahahahaha.
man, i rule.
Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at3/29/2005 RADIUM IGNORED MY MESSAGE
SABI KO NA NGA BA!!!!!!!! BAKIT KASI HINDI AKO
NAG-IISIP???!!!!!!! WHY OH WHY OH WHY???!!!!!
AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
AYOKO NG MABUHAY!!!!!!!!!!!*SOB* (ay, iyak yan, hindi son of a bitch)
badtrip talagang buhay 'to o!
pero ok lang. not my loss. pasalamat nga sya may stalker sya sa hitsura nyang yun e! lakas mag-feeling ha! tigas ng mukha mo! feeling mo astig ka?????!!!!! HINDI KAYA!!!!!!!
pero tanga talaga ko. shet.
AND NOW, THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS THAT I'M A STALKER, AND I'M DESPERATE. NAKANAMPUTA.
Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at3/29/2005
Monday, March 28, 2005
Shine by Collective SoulGive me a word
Give me a sign
Show me where to look
Tell what will I find
Lay me on the ground
Fly me in the sky
Show me where to look
Tell me what will I find
Oh, heaven let your light shine down
Love is in the water
Love is in the air
Show me where to go
Tell me will love be there
Teach me how to speak
Teach me how to share
Teach me where to go
Tell me will love be there
Oh, heaven let your light shine down
Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at3/28/2005
Friday, March 25, 2005
Minamalasang ugali mo'y iba
hindi bagay sa'ting dalawa
pakiusap sana
makisama ka naman
huwag kang balahura
ayoko na ang labo mo
pag maginaw naiinitan ka
minamalas
Kasi wala na akong mahanap na iba
- Mojofly
and another one...
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You don't have to go, oh oh oh oh
You don't have to go, oh oh oh oh
You don't have to go
I I I I I I
All those tears I cry, I I I I
All those tears I cry, oh oh, I I
Baby, please don't go
When I read the letter you wrote me
it made me mad mad mad
When I read the words that it told me
It made me sad sad sad
But I still love you so
I can't let you go
I love you
Ooh baby I love you
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Every breath I take, oh oh oh oh
Oh, every move I make
Oh baby please, don't go
I I I I I I
You hurt me to my soul, oh oh oh oh
You hurt me to my soul, oh oh-hoh
Darling please don't go
When I read the letter you sent me
It made me mad mad mad
When I read the news that it brought me
It made me sad sad sad
But I still love you so
And I can't let you go
I love you
Ooh baby, I love you
-Led Zeppelin, Dyer Maker
'em feeling so vulnerable. ayoko na talaga. why can't i be a rational, mature individual?
Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at3/25/2005 araw ng pangilin? hindi rin...
funny how reality hits you right in the face when you least expect it. right now, i'm feeling like the pitiful fly crushed in the windshield of a speeding vehicle. suddenly, everything's so huge, and i have lost control over things.
here's the deal: an hs friend has called a meeting, and told us it was very urgent. speculations rose, and mine is that either she's going to migrate or she's pregnant. ding ding ding! the latter's correct. man, i'm a psychic. seriously though, what happened to her made me realized how fast we're becoming adults. you see, she's like the baby of the group. she just turned 18 last year. paano pa kaya kaming mas matatanda?
after i was able to confirm my speculation, i thought, hey what's the big deal? it's just a pregnancy. nothing abnormal about it. but something's amiss... not that i'm saying what she did was wrong... heck, conceiving a child is never wrong, unless you forsake the responsibility which comes with it. it's just that, i feel like we're being rushed... it's not supposed to happen this soon... not when she's got her whole life in front of her... not when all of us were just starting to discover our freedom and really feel how it is to live your life however you want it to.
i am disappointed... she had so much in her... she's already starting a new chapter, yet skipped so many pages of a life that will never be. haaaayyy... di na nya ma-eenjoy ang buhay ng single... awww... it's so hard to feel happy for her when you know she's being deprived of things that she might otherwise experience if not for this.
kasi!!!!!! bakit hindi kayo nag-ingat!!!!! why oh why oh why??????
oh well... enough with the negative thoughts...
the wedding's on the 9th of april... of course i'll be there. i'm trying to be supportive here.
THE FIRSTS
march 24
-first drinking session. it wasn't as bad as i thought it will be. no case of vomitting in the bath room, just felt dizzy, and it never lasted too. i was as sober last night as i am while i'm writing this. and that was after 2 glasses of red wine, 2 shots of gin and around 5 glasses of beer. ay, ipinagyabang e kakaunti naman pala!
- first real encounter with smoke. i've tried it several times before, but i was such a sissy, i just blew on the stick, like i did when i'm blowing bubbles on a straw while palying with my drink. but that night, i really took it in. coughed it up. then resolved to never do it again. man, that was awful. now i'm totally puzzled why people do it. there's nothing fun or relaxing about it.
- first time i slept in a friend's house. natuto na ko sa kapatid kong sutil. kasi dati, nakiparty sya bahay ng classmate nya, paalam nya kay nanay kay nanay hanggang 10 lang sya. pagdating ng gabi, nagtext sya, sabi wala raw sasakyan kaya dun na sya matutulog. nag-alboroto ang aking ina, ngunit wala syang magawa kasi malayo ang aking kapatid. ginaya ko nga. pagdating ko dun, nagtext ako sa nanay ko na baka di ako makauwi kasi village yun, tapos walang sakayan sa loob... weheheh... it worked! di sya makapalag. ngunit dahil hindi ko inaasahang magagawa ko ito, hindi rin ako nakapaghanda. hindi ako nakapagdala ng gamit. ni toothbrush wala, buti nakabili kami, 2 for 17 pesos... sheettt...
- first time to get a copy of dapitan, which is like ust liberal arts' version of dlsu's malate, only it was far better, more playful, and more imaginative. taob ang malate.
march 25
- first hang over. my head is throbbing and i cannot function well.
=> there's more to the story than what my meager writing skills could capture here... man, i hate myself for not being eloquent.
Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at3/25/2005
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
the winds have changedyou know how i have been stalking this one guy for quite some time now... (actually there are 3, but let's just concentrate on this one) i find it peculiar that just yesterday, i'm willing to worship at his feet, and then come this afternoon, i already hate his guts. i cannot elaborate on this one.
i have to put an end to this. have to wake up.
but not yet. maybe a little later.
his presence has already grown so huge in my life, i simply cannot throw my obsession away.
Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at3/16/2005
Monday, March 14, 2005
devoid of sensei am not joking about this one.
SULFUR WAS LOOKING AT ME. well, maybe he didn't mean to... you know how, when you're thinking about something, you tend to stare blankly into space... that's kind of how it was. but at least he chose to look in my direction. TWICE. or maybe it was because i was wearing black shirt with a huge yellow print (pacman) on it? so what. OUR EYES MET. that's all that matters to me.
despite that, today was bleak, totally cloudy. for me that is. tomorrow's my final interview in plm-cm. gulp. gulp again. wunoh. i thought i'm already in the "waiting" phase, where i just sit around and wait for calls and/or letters from medical schools. see, i've already let my guard down. before, i always put mysepf in this sort of "future doctor" mode, all of my thoughts are geared towards the responsibility of being in the medical profession. proves useful in answering interview questions and writing essays. you don't know how many times i was asked to write an essay about being a doctor. well, now that i've lost the mode, i'm in for a lot of trouble. they'll surely know that i'm only putting on a show, that i'm not really into this.
maybe i'm not. maybe i am. why can't they let me go in easy?
oh, and i have to skip one class because of the interview. and the test. don't forget the test.
well, at least we don't have intreco tomorrow. haha.
Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at3/14/2005
Sunday, March 13, 2005
blogger now connected to photobucket
baby lion! no it's a persian kitty.
i'm just trying this new feature (i've noticed it just now, so i assume it's new ;P) of photobucket.
Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at3/13/2005 too busy to post
finals week, already in the horizon... pressure is slowly but surely building up...
i'm going to embrace all of it this term because this will be my last... ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at3/13/2005
Thursday, March 03, 2005
nyork!nice sound noh! that is the sound made by a protoss uhm... worker(?) when you click on it. ay... i miss star craft...
anyway... a very funny thing happened recently... not really funny, i just think it is... well, i received 3 letters from 3 different medical schools, 2 of them outside of metro manila... just struck me as funny because i've been torturing myself about thoughts of not being able to go to a medical school, and yet, there are these 3 schools. i'm having this vague sense of wanting to go to one of them... wehehehehe... ngark.
bakit kasi hindi kami mayaman... bakit Lord? bakit?
ngark ulit...
God doesn't trust me when it comes to wealth... mabait naman ako.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
lighter side of things: i had a blast with an hs friend in the mall this afternoon. ice cream. arcade. pet shop. i even bought a new pacman t-shirt. di ko alam kung anong connection sa friend ko. basta masaya ako.
Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at3/03/2005
