Saturday, August 28, 2004

penny for my thoughts?
my mother's plan for getting rich
send me to the us, find me an american husband, make me bear children... then my kids, who are fil-am mestizos will venture into showbiz and make us some money. sounds plausible? hell no. there's no way i'll marry a foreigner. wehehehe...

i am at home, doing absolutely nothing. don't know if i'll be thankful or irked. i'm bored. and to remember that a few days ago, i was craving for a no-school day... hmmm... fickle.... anyway, what alleviates my mood is that it isn't raining today. i missed the sunlight so much. and it's windy outside, a good day for walks, that is, if there wasn't so much pollution outside... i used to love the rain. with its rhythmic pitter-patter on my window pane, and the cool wind it brings. for a lethargic grouch like me, it is the perfect setting for just stretching out and doing nothing. all of these vanished one rainy evening, that evening when i learned that merely wanting "something" and trying to be good and doing every means to be able to keep it do not guarantee that you'll have that "something" for as long as an eternity. i was so gullible, believing that stuff, so when that rainy evening came, i was caught unaware. all my previous beliefs about life were shattered. i can no longer enjoy my rainy nights, because they only remind of that single night that ruined my core, and wrecked my equilibrium.

wanna know what happened on that rainy night? hmm... nah, i'm not going to tell you. but it's quite obvious, if you know the things i've gone through in life. what's important is that i was able to restore my equilibrium and procure a different set of beliefs about life that are so much in touch with reality despite of being a bit pessimistic and critical to human nature.i re-read this blog and it sounded so vague.. sorry, just pouring my thoughts into writing.



Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at8/28/2004