Monday, August 30, 2004

rant
still pondering about the question posed yesterday... hmmm...

this morning, i accompanied my mother to pgh, in padre faura. she was gonna have her therapy because her back has been killing her for quite some time now. before we left home, she was really irritated cuz i was so slow, and we're already running late... i bit my tongue. through years of endless arguments, i've learned to shut my mouth while my mother is blurting out hurtful words at me, cuz i know that she just gets that way when she's upset, and talking back will only aggravate it. so i bit my tongue. i didn't try to explain that my body clock works at a different and much slower pace than that of real time, and i cannot do anything about it. i did not say a word, and in a little while, when we were already in the van, she was back to her old self and was telling jokes and we were laughing again... see, i've gained wisdom through the years.... the art of not being on the defensive mode.... yeah...

my hs friend, kay, was with us in the van. she studies in pcu, taking up hrm (i think). she's getting prettier as the years go by. conversation was at the minimum, cuz we were in a public vehicle, and i don't like to bother people. nevertheless, we were able to exchange a few words, and it turned out that neither of us were able to catch up with our old buddies in high school...

at the pgh...

my mother made me stand in line for half an hour... i was immersed in a totally different world... i figured, if i was to study or work in a public hospital, then i have to get used to that kind of environment... ventilation was poor... it was really, really hot, which did not help the temper of those other people who were standing in line with me. they were already hissing at each other, like cats fighting. patients in casts, wheel chairs, and complex thingamajigs stuck in some part of their body were passing us by. it was really a pitiful sight. and it seems i cannot do anything about it...

i re-read all of my past blogs, and i realized i sounded a bit like ginger foutley and carrie bradshaw combined... oh i like watching "as told by ginger" but i don't wanna sound like her because i'm way past my highschool dilemmas... and carrie? she can get a little neurotic at times... i'm sure i don't want that... i wanted to belong to the same mold as jessica zafra... y'know... uhm... i know i have the sarcasm, but i doubt that i have the literary prowess and the sharp wit to pull it off... gotta read more books... argh...

judge me all you want... i won't change just to make you happy. i wasn't born to impress people.


How evil are you?

Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at8/30/2004