Saturday, October 23, 2004

creative energy... all gone...
i'm bankcrupt again... how could i not be, when i chanced upon this bookstore which sells classics at 15 pesos a piece? i have about 20 books now which i bought from a book sale and i haven't gotten down to reading yet (how could i when i could barely finish my readings in school?)... but heck, they're classics... i could read them anythime i want cuz they won't be outdated.


books:
lord of the flies
tess of d'urbervilles
don quixote
of mice and men
*several other books... i think i've lost some of them.


my psychological state is on the brink of collapse... yet again.


my education is ruining me.


three tests... all major subjects... san ka pa?


parasitology was a joke. i read the book! i relished all the words! i let myself be immersed... but when i saw the questions, the amswers were all in my notes... my effort was futile. all that was needed was to read my notes. and i didn't. that was the problem! i didn't study my notes!


i wouldn't even try to put into words the emyolab and physiology exam. all i need to say is that i should have spent my time studying for these subjects instead of reading in parasitology.


all the terms are still swimming in my head... their meanings, still not clear...

and the semester's far from over...


i am a failure.



lighter side of things:


my cousin's baby is with us... he's a darling... now, i know myself, and i know that responsibility is not one of my strongest traits... but he could bring out the caring and mature person in me. funny how being with someone who is weaker than you makes you find the strength and the initiative to care and to protect.... he's so precious. i don't mind him disturbing my sleep with his cries in the middle of the night... i don't blame him for not letting me review for my exams... his innocence is a source of joy for me... i just want to sit by his side and watch every smile, blubber, diaper change, bath, suckling, every single movement, no matter how small... i want to hold him, even when i get drenched from his saliva... (intsik beho, tulo laway)... i want things to stay this way...


i suddenly want a baby brother.

Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at10/23/2004