Morbid indulgence

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

First was the steam and the lights blaring at my eyes... next came the gauze. They covered me up with layers and layers of that dreaded white cloth. So this was how it feels like to be mummified... alive... She spoke to me soothingly... assuring me that it won't take long... that i should relax because it won't hurt, not even a little bit. partly true, because i won't be feeling anything at all after the procedure. She smeared cold, sticky cream on my gauze covered skin. thick layers of it, all over my skin. it was so cold. after a while, i can feel it hardening, encapsulating me in a tough, icy shell. i cannot move a single muscle, and i cannot utter any sound... i have lost the only defense i've got... my voice. i cannot cry for help. it hardened until all i can move are my eyes, inside my sockets. people are passing me by, indifferent of the rigor mortis that was slowly plaguing me. can they not see that i'm still alive? in the background, there was a song... it's a hiphop song... great... they're celebrating my demise with an eminem hit. just great. outside, a woman is shouting.... anger and despair was in her voice... her wailing got louder and louder, then it just stopped. i have no idea how these people shut her up. the hiphop song again. it's nelly this time. is this how i will go? i started counting the brown squares of the ceiling that is available to my line of sight, to keep myself from panicking. then at the very edge of my peripheral vision, i saw a white vase, with pink flowers in it. sort of a vulgar symbolism of what was happening to me. when i ran out of brown squares to count, i finally surrendered to my fate. let them do what they have to do.

++ i was talking about my visit to the spa ++

Morbid Indulgencestarted this journey at9/08/2004